How to Get Out of Your Own Way

Sometimes the intentions are good but the execution is poor. We’ve all had this happen. Usually it’s because you got in your own way. Life can be difficult and complicated but sometimes when you push aside the “difficult” you find the simple exposed and waiting and pure.
Sometimes it truly is difficult to see the forest from the trees. It can be overwhelming and discouraging, but those are the times that you need to step back and ask yourself, “what am I doing this for?” If you don’t know, maybe it isn’t the time to go for it. Maybe its time to reassess and just concentrate on the simple for a while. Pick one goal and put your all into it. Otherwise, everything in your life suffers and often the ones you love the most end up feeling neglected and hurt.
So get out of your own way today. Take stalk of what your goals are and how you are reaching them. Otherwise, you may be going down a bumpy, ugly, lonely path.

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February 15, 2011. Advice, career, change, Doubt, relationship, revelation, sadness, scary, unhappy, wishes. Leave a comment.

Some People Are Never Happy

Or they are simply happy being unhappy. Either way it is hard to be around these people. I know that at times I can be a Negative Nancy. I know that it is incredibly hard to pull your self up by your boot straps and keep going, but it still must be done.
There is a woman that I work with that is going through some hard times right now. Her kid is driving her crazy, she’s always worried about money, and lets face it…she doesn’t exactly love coming into work. That being said, being shrouded in her negativity has done something profound to me. It’s made me a more positive person.
I now see that I have a powerful tool to make myself happy and that tool is me. (I’m not a tool I’m just saying metaphorically…oh never mind…) Regardless. I need to be my own champion. I need to put myself out there. I need to see the good and the light and not the dark and gloomy.
I believe that people are put in our paths in life to teach us a lesson or help us through a difficult time. I believe this person was put in my path to give me the kick in the butt that I need to realize my dreams. I need to start working on me and what truly makes me happy. So thank you Disgruntled Co-Worker for being so miserable these last few weeks. You gave me the boost I needed. I hope I can do the same for you sometime soon.
What makes you happiest? and are you doing enough to make it happen? Get out there and live it. You never know what could be waiting around the next corner.

October 25, 2010. Tags: . Advice, blog, Blogger, books, Bored, career, change, Doubt, revelation, sadness, Stressed, Uncategorized, unhappy, wishes, Woman, work, writing. 1 comment.

Random Friday

So I’m going to start Random Friday’s since my brain during this time is like a spastic two-year old. I’m all over the place. So here’s the run down on today’s randomness.
I went to the library like I do every three weeks to get books and audio books (I listen to them on my 45 minute one way commute- don’t judge.) While I was there this week I was actually pretty disappointed in the selection. So instead of getting any new audio books I grabbed a few CD’s. Mainly musicals I can sing along to and in the mix was Evita.
The Madonna version.
When this movie came out I was in junior high and fell madly in love with the drama of it and how a nation could love anyone so completely (with the few exceptions…) Anyway, so I’ve been listening to this CD for the last couple of days and of course it got me curious about the real Eva Paron so what do I do? I wikipedia her! Dude, her corps was moved a bunch of times and viewed to the public far more than necessary in my opinion. Anyway, I found this fascinating and wanted to share. Feeling the need to watch Evita sometime soon…Gotta love me some Antonio Banderas!

October 15, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , . admiration, blog, books, change, Love, revelation, sadness, Uncategorized, Woman, work. Leave a comment.

Good Bye Summer

The sun decided it hated me this year. It never came out to play. I knocked on its door, I rang the door bell. I talked to its mother who awkwardly told me he didn’t want to play with me anymore. Well pooh on you Sun! Fall may be my favorite season, but typically I have had a beautiful summer to look back on! But no, I’ve been left alone on the dance floor on prom night while the sun sits on the sidelines laughing. Needless to say, this has been a cold icky summer. We had a couple of beautiful days where the sun felt pity for us, but mostly it was cold and drizzly in San Francisco. So I saw the photo above and decided to give a nod to summer and wish it a fond but disappointed farewell. I bid you adieu!

September 21, 2010. Tags: , , . Beach, blog, change, cold, sadness, summer, Uncategorized, unhappy. Leave a comment.

Square Wheels and Other Obstacles

You can’t go very fast with square wheels. Right now I feel like my Sunday stroll through life has turned into a Tuesday of errands where everything is harried and frustrating. Recently I hit a bit of a road block. My heart was set and I was rejected. Immediately I went on the offensive and began to plan my strategy to get back in the game. When anyone would show sympathy I would show strength. To everyone around me I was picking my bike back up, dusting the rocks out of my cuts and getting back out there. Alone however was a different story.
I felt and feel defeated. The metaphorical wind has been taken out of my sails. So what did I do to gear myself up? I hid in trashy mediocre romance novels with little plot and two dimensional characters. It’s kind of my thing. Most people turn to alcohol, chocolate, or friends. I turn to books. It’s what I do, so sue me.
Any way, so now that I’m somewhat surfacing for air I now have to shake off this feeling of defeat. My question for you today is, how do you get back up? How do you gain momentum again? How do you gain your confidence back?
The bare bones of a game plan are underway but my enthusiasm and heart have been bruised. Now I need to fight, but now it comes down to, what am I fighting for…

August 30, 2010. Tags: . alcohol, career, change, Doubt, sadness, scary, Uncategorized, unhappy. Leave a comment.

Acts of Kindness and Happy Thoughts

Recently I accepted an event invitation via Facebook for “Positive Status Day.” This got me thinking. How many status updates are filled with negativity? Festering anger that has been unleashed into the biggest social network in the world. (I think…don’t quote me on that one…) So why do we constantly hang our dirty laundry to dry via Facebook? Do you really think the guy who sat next to you in freshman math cares that you ran over a squirrel? Is it so imperative to tell your friend’s friend’s cousin that you didn’t get that promotion?
I’m the first one to admit that I’m 100% guilty of this. I’ve hung my half-baked rants out for everyone to see. I’ve left vague often annoying messages saying things like, “I wish this didn’t happen” out into the world of concerned nosiness where people inevitably ask, “Who? What’s wrong?”
The truth is, I’m sick of the drama. The asinine comments that make me take notice and worry, when in reality, without Facebook I would probably have no knowledge of your life at all. So, I urge you all to think of something positive today. If you find yourself having a hard time and picking at yourself or others think, “What can I say that is positive about this situation?” For instance, I’m having a bad hair day. I’m talking not good, looks frizzy and odd, however, when I looked in the mirror this morning I told myself, “Your skin looks nice today.” I needed to see the good through the bad. I think sometimes people really do need that. Especially that person sitting next to you in her cubicle typing a bit to hard and muttering to herself. Maybe she just needs to be reminded that its Friday or that she did a good job this week despite everything. If words fail you, a cookie left at their desk inevitably does it. So happy Friday and to all the people who are reading this: You are beautiful, smart, and wonderful. Have a wonderful weekend and remember, you are amazing. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks so!

July 9, 2010. Advice, blog, change, cookies, Doubt, friends, Love, relationship, revelation, rude, sadness, satisfaction, Stressed, Uncategorized, unhappy, wishes. 3 comments.

I Can Like You To Your Face

Sometimes, “I understand” just doesn’t feel sufficient. For instance, a very good friend (lets call him Bob) of mine has just found out some disturbing news about someone he has been in love with for years. Years. I love my friend, I’ve known him for a really long time and I feel like we have the kind of friendship that will last forever. So, in other words I don’t keep my opinions to myself. I hate this girl (lets call her Vanessa). In fact I have always thought that Vanessa wasn’t good enough for Bob.
That being said, that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel hurt that my friend is hurting. In fact if I could, I would drag Vanessa back by the hair and make her apologize and see the error of her ways. I could even, for my friend, pretend to like her to her face. This is how much Bob means to me. I would put all hostility aside and embrace her as the woman he sees her as.
But I can’t.
And she’s stupid.
And mean.
And disrespectful.
And doesn’t deserve a fraction of the Bob I know.
“Bob”, I love you. Everyday it will get a little bit better. It will hurt a little less. It will feel a little less consuming. The right Mrs. Bob is out there for you. Just keep your head up and remember, Cougars love you! So you’ve got that going for you. Go get ‘um!

June 23, 2010. Tags: , , . Advice, blog, breakup, change, friends, Love, relationship, revelation, rude, sadness, Uncategorized, unhappy, Woman. 1 comment.

Steel Magnolias and Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

While baking cookies in my brand-spankin’ new oven the other night I was flipping around the channels trying to find something, ANYTHING other than American Idol to listen to when I stumbled across one of the greatest movies of all time, Steal Magnolias. Whenever this movie is on TV I have to stop and watch it. Its like an unspoken rule. Every little girl watched this movie with their mama and saw her cry her heart out at the cemetary scene. Even when Sally Fields was encouraged to “take a whack at Ouiser!” I happened to stumbled onto the movie right when Shelby (Julia Roberts) is getting married. When I was a little girl I would watch this movie with my mom and want the exact same wedding when I was older. I wanted to be Shelby (minus the health issues…)
Now that I’m an adult the movie reaches me in so many different ways. It makes me laugh and more than anything it makes me cry. The scene that gets me every single time is when Jack comes home and Jack Jr. is sitting in the living room hysterically crying for his mother, and how Jack discovers his love unconscious on the patio. The look on Jack’s face, the emotion behind Jack Jr.’s reaction. The combination is heart wrenching.
So by the time my cookies were out of the oven Shelby was hooked to machines and Sally Fields was practicing Jane Fonda with Julia Roberts.
After an emotional week I found myself riveted and pulled in. More than anything however, I found that I appreciate the people in my life just a little bit more. It’s movies and stories and people like these that make you remember that even though your family can be a little crazy…they are still your family. You would do anything for them and more than that, nobody talks sh*t about my family except me. Capisce?

April 23, 2010. Bad Television, cookies, Julia Roberts, Love, movies, relationship, sadness, Sally Fields, Steel Magnolias, Television, Uncategorized, Woman. 1 comment.

When In Doubt: Paint Your Nails

Sometimes life decides that it’s just going to defecate on you. Sh*t happens. So during these times i find it best to stay away from people. I know myself. I get bitchy and I itch for a fight then I cry and then all hell breaks loose. So, I’ve learned that it’s just best for me to chill out and do something just for me.
Yesterday was one of those days. I had a very emotional weekend and my fears and inability to do anything manifested into a big ball of ickiness in my belly. So instead of doing the normal multitasking of house work and catching up on my favorite TV shows, I decided to just chill out and do something that has needed to be done for awhile…paint my darn nails! I’m sure we’ve all been there when every time you look down at your fingers you think, “Darn it! I need to do that!” and then move on to the next thing demanding your attention. I have a lot of those building up right now. I mean A LOT.
So yesterday, instead of picking a fight, or crying I pulled out my nail polish and went to work. One thing has been checked off of my pending “to-do list” and I feel a little bit calmer. Especially since while I sat their waiting for my nails to dry I literally couldn’t do anything. I had to sit through the commercials not even allowing myself to fast forward my DVR. By just slowing down I was able to re-center myself even for just a little bit. So if you are feeling like all of the balls you are juggling are teetering just on the verge of being dropped, slow down and do something for yourself. Do something that you forget that you truly enjoy. No talking on the phone and cooking dinner. No flipping though a magazine while watching your favorite TV show. Pick just one and enjoy it. After you bake that decadent meal, sit down at the table and close your eyes and savor that first bite. Breath it in. Love it with all of your heart for those few seconds. Your sanity will thank you.

April 20, 2010. Advice, blog, cooking, Doubt, lazy, Nail Polish, relationship, sadness, scary, Television, Uncategorized, unhappy, Woman. 1 comment.

Life Hurts Sometimes

Lately it seems that change is in the air. People are getting engaged, breaking up, or redirecting their focus to new and bigger pursuits. With change however there is sometimes heartache, poor judgement calls, and the inevitable feeling that somewhere down the line you are disappointing someone.
This is life.
I was watching the Mirror Has Two Faces yesterday and during one of the main characters lectures she asks her class if they know the reason why people go into love knowing that the chances are good that they will be left alone, hurt and heartsick. Some of her students offered astute answers about the theory of why we need companionship and the feeling of being needed. The professors answer makes the most sense however, “because when you are in love it feels F**King great!”
This being said, sometimes you have to make the unpopular choice to see if it works. If it doesn’t, well, share a bottle of champagne with your best friend on the beach and let yourself feel the pain for a little while.
So to my beautiful, intelligent, wonderful friends who are going through some difficult changes remember, it gets easier in time. You will grow with every experience you have and most importantly, if you stay open to the option of something wonderful and perfect, it will find you.

April 5, 2010. Advice, alcohol, blog, breakup, Champagne, change, Love, movies, relationship, sadness, The Mirror Has Two Faces, Uncategorized, unhappy, Woman. Leave a comment.