How to Get Out of Your Own Way

Sometimes the intentions are good but the execution is poor. We’ve all had this happen. Usually it’s because you got in your own way. Life can be difficult and complicated but sometimes when you push aside the “difficult” you find the simple exposed and waiting and pure.
Sometimes it truly is difficult to see the forest from the trees. It can be overwhelming and discouraging, but those are the times that you need to step back and ask yourself, “what am I doing this for?” If you don’t know, maybe it isn’t the time to go for it. Maybe its time to reassess and just concentrate on the simple for a while. Pick one goal and put your all into it. Otherwise, everything in your life suffers and often the ones you love the most end up feeling neglected and hurt.
So get out of your own way today. Take stalk of what your goals are and how you are reaching them. Otherwise, you may be going down a bumpy, ugly, lonely path.


February 15, 2011. Advice, career, change, Doubt, relationship, revelation, sadness, scary, unhappy, wishes. Leave a comment.

Some People Are Never Happy

Or they are simply happy being unhappy. Either way it is hard to be around these people. I know that at times I can be a Negative Nancy. I know that it is incredibly hard to pull your self up by your boot straps and keep going, but it still must be done.
There is a woman that I work with that is going through some hard times right now. Her kid is driving her crazy, she’s always worried about money, and lets face it…she doesn’t exactly love coming into work. That being said, being shrouded in her negativity has done something profound to me. It’s made me a more positive person.
I now see that I have a powerful tool to make myself happy and that tool is me. (I’m not a tool I’m just saying metaphorically…oh never mind…) Regardless. I need to be my own champion. I need to put myself out there. I need to see the good and the light and not the dark and gloomy.
I believe that people are put in our paths in life to teach us a lesson or help us through a difficult time. I believe this person was put in my path to give me the kick in the butt that I need to realize my dreams. I need to start working on me and what truly makes me happy. So thank you Disgruntled Co-Worker for being so miserable these last few weeks. You gave me the boost I needed. I hope I can do the same for you sometime soon.
What makes you happiest? and are you doing enough to make it happen? Get out there and live it. You never know what could be waiting around the next corner.

October 25, 2010. Tags: . Advice, blog, Blogger, books, Bored, career, change, Doubt, revelation, sadness, Stressed, Uncategorized, unhappy, wishes, Woman, work, writing. 1 comment.

Random Friday: How Hard Is It to Get Published…

…since Hilary Duff is now on the best sellers list and James Franco is doing book readings and signings at Barnes & Noble…Perhaps they got into acting really wanting to be authors. Or maybe they are so hounded by the paps that their only outlet is writing. I don’t know but I miss the authors of yesteryear. Yes, Austen, Shakespeare, Twain, J.K Rowlings, Tolkien…

Moving on…

Why is technology so much more difficult to use the older I get? I use a computer everyday. During the week I’m at the computer all day. So why is it I can’t get my stupid slide show on my MAC to load correctly onto a disk? Am I becoming the “older” generation? The generation that just doesn’t get it? Cause I really don’t get Ke$ha but somehow I get Lady Gaga? Who is this Bieber kid (yes I looked up how to spell his name…) and why does he look like Jody Foster when she was a kid? Begrudgingly I already sometimes respond with “eh?” with a quizzical confused look on my face.
Whatever, at least its Friday.

PS- After listening to the link of James Franco reading (see above) I kinda wanna read it…Don’t judge…

PSS- I want to ask this guy to lunch and ask his opinion on how the world of celebrity has been diminished to fart jokes and nose jobs. I think he’d have great things to say…

October 22, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , . admiration, blog, Blogger, books, career, change, Doubt, Lady Gaga, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

And When I Grow Up…

…I’ll be a billionaire! Or maybe not. Remember when you were a little boy or girl and you used to fantasize about your life as a grown up? Do you remember spending all day on your Grandma’s tire swing pretending you were a famous singer? Well maybe that was just me…but nevertheless I’m sure you remember wanting big magical things for yourself.
I still want big magical things for myself.
Now I just have to figure out where that mysterious life path is and follow it. I feel like Little Red Ridding Hood without a flashlight or a compass and instead of the Big Bad Wolf on my heals its self doubt and monthly bills.
I’m a bit lost, a little scared, and a lot poor. I am apparently your typical American. Go figure.
So this is an open question to those of you who have found the dream, who are happy and content in the career/life that you’ve chosen. How did you know? What did you do? How did you figure out the age-old question of “what do I want to be when I grow up”? I’m serious. I want to know. I thought I knew, maybe I still do, maybe I’m just impatient? I’m thinking I need to just close my eyes and pick the name out of a hat and go with it. Career by Ouija Board…

October 21, 2010. Tags: , , , . admiration, Advice, blog, Blogger, Bored, career, change, Doubt, Imperfect, revelation, satisfaction, Stressed, tired, Uncategorized, unhappy, wishes, Woman, work, writing. 1 comment.

And…It’s My Friday…

Today is my Friday and let me tell you- It’s been a long one! I got to work a bit late this morning…I blame the alarm clock…And after running through the door of my office building sunglasses still on I frantically boot up my computer to find…nothing. I have zero new emails. Could this be right? Could this perhaps be the apocalypse? I ALWAYS have new emails. Most of which have a big red urgent exclamation point attached to them. Have I done such an amazing stand up job that everything is running smoothly? YES! and no…
Yes that there are no problems (today), no because now I have been sitting here all day surfing the internet constantly looking over my shoulder as to not get caught…
This is my Friday. I don’t want my boss to find something else for me to do. I want to sit here and be bored while I check Facebook a million times and cyber stalk my friends. So on that note I leave you. I’m going to get my nails did so I look pretty for a wedding I’m going to this weekend. Have a great weekend everyone!

September 16, 2010. Tags: , . blog, Bored, career, lazy, Nail Polish, satisfaction, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Square Wheels and Other Obstacles

You can’t go very fast with square wheels. Right now I feel like my Sunday stroll through life has turned into a Tuesday of errands where everything is harried and frustrating. Recently I hit a bit of a road block. My heart was set and I was rejected. Immediately I went on the offensive and began to plan my strategy to get back in the game. When anyone would show sympathy I would show strength. To everyone around me I was picking my bike back up, dusting the rocks out of my cuts and getting back out there. Alone however was a different story.
I felt and feel defeated. The metaphorical wind has been taken out of my sails. So what did I do to gear myself up? I hid in trashy mediocre romance novels with little plot and two dimensional characters. It’s kind of my thing. Most people turn to alcohol, chocolate, or friends. I turn to books. It’s what I do, so sue me.
Any way, so now that I’m somewhat surfacing for air I now have to shake off this feeling of defeat. My question for you today is, how do you get back up? How do you gain momentum again? How do you gain your confidence back?
The bare bones of a game plan are underway but my enthusiasm and heart have been bruised. Now I need to fight, but now it comes down to, what am I fighting for…

August 30, 2010. Tags: . alcohol, career, change, Doubt, sadness, scary, Uncategorized, unhappy. Leave a comment.

The Mirror of Distaste

The things we dislike the most in others is often the things we dislike the most about ourselves. For instance, I always complain about people being too negative. Yet my first thoughts in a new unfamiliar situation is that of defeat and dismay. Why do I get so irritated with people that are negative and pissy? Because that’s how I’m feeling sometimes even though I don’t let it show all the time. I’m resentful. I’m irritated that they can’t just keep it together and keep it inside like I do. So today, I am more accepting and patient for all of the little things and people that drive me bonkers.

What are the little things that drive you nuts about other? Do you do this? Be honest with yourself…

Now sometimes there are things that people do that piss me off that I know I don’t do. I can’t abide rude people. I am polite and cordial all often as possible. sometimes I snap and tell people exactly what I think, but more often than not it actually hurts me more than them. I become irritated with myself and I end up feeling bad and apologizing because no matter what I think I shouldn’t be rude to someone else. I don’t know whats going on in their life.

So sometimes people are just stupid, but sometimes I’m taking out my frustration on others for the Imperfections I see in myself, and trust me…there are many. But I expect better of myself. So I’ll work on it. What are discovering about yourself today?

April 22, 2010. Advice, blog, career, email, Imperfect, revelation, rude, satisfaction, Stressed, Uncategorized, unhappy, wishes, Woman, work. 2 comments.


Faith comes in so many different forms. My “Faith” resembles an inner strength that wears black stiletto heals and bright red lipstick. Currently she is smoking a cigarette from a long cigarette holder asking me, “Darling…”, yes she calls me darling, “wwhhaaat are youu dooing?” She resembles Marlene Dietrich actually…

What am I doing?

Right now I feel like I need to find my strength through Faith. A kick ass lady who does what she needs to do not because of her circumstances but because she can. I need to have an unwavering believe in myself and get my act together. Only I have control of me and life is too short to simply float through it. I want to get banged up and dirty on this journey through life. I want to be drawn to the challenge of constantly pushing myself for what may seem like the impossible.

My confidence has been rocked professionally, and not necessarily in a bad way. I am reevaluation what is important. What is going to make me happy? So I have created a plan. I am meeting with the right people at hopefully the right time to get me going down the path that I want. I know it will be hard. There are going to be time that I want to stop, but those are the time I need to remind myself that this isn’t a game.

This is my life.

This is the life that could just as easily end at any time. So I will drink champagne tonight with good friends and celebrate change and birthdays as well as small and large achievements. Tonight, have a drink, may it be champagne or tea, and say Sa’lute to life and all the dirty, difficult, wonders that it holds. Faith is smiling ruefully right now giving me a mental knuckle bump.

April 16, 2010. Advice, alcohol, blog, career, Champagne, change, friends, relationship, Uncategorized, wishes, work, writing. Leave a comment.

Sunday Recovery

Saturday night’s random craziness led to Sunday’s day of recovery. After three hours of sleep and a wonderful night of laughter and catching up with old friends I woke up restless and reflective. Instead of waking up my love and my house guest I took a walk on the beach in the early morning rain. At seven o’clock in the morning I walked up and down Ocean Beach reflecting on some very important things:

1. I have the best friends a girl could ask for.
2. I am the only one holding myself back from what I want.
3. Going to sleep at 4 AM should be left to twenty-one year olds.
4. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in crime. My love is simply amazing.
5. Walking in the sand in rain boots is harder than I thought.

April 12, 2010. Advice, Beach, blog, boyfriend, career, change, cold, exercise, friends, Love, Ocean Beach, relationship, satisfaction, sleep, tired, Uncategorized, wishes, Woman. Leave a comment.

Far Off Places and Cubicles

I live in a cubicle. I am here about eight hours everyday. I spend more of my day with my co-workers than my boyfriend. This at times is very depressing. Then I think about what my life would be like without a job and I remember that in these present times I’m lucky to have a job let alone one that offers me opportunities for growth and some pretty great flexibility.
That said, I’ve still spent the better part of my day wondering what my life would be like if I just cashed everything in and traveled.
It’s such a powerful word. It conjures different images for everyone yet the same dreamy far-away look appears on everyone’s face. Travel. Wouldn’t that be nice?

March 18, 2010. blog, Blogger, Bloggers, career, change, satisfaction, Uncategorized, unhappy, Woman, work, writing. Leave a comment.

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